So I was laying low on the facebook front for the majority of the past week because I was engaged in a covert op in Denver, Colorado. My little cousin Duncan recently turned 13 and the presence of four people remained a closely guarded secret...sort of. My uncle Scott, my Dad, my cousin Seth, and I all flew in from NC earlier this week to prepare for Duncan's "Passage" or what I like to refer to as "a Christian bar mitzvah." (unfortunately, Nathan wasn't able to join us, but at least he's here in spirit) At the age of 13, we have a ceremony based on the book "Raising a Modern Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood", in which men in (or close friends of) the family present one-on-one lessons of what is required of a R.E.A.L. man. Rejecting Passivity, Expecting God's Greater Rewards, Accepting Responsibility, and Leading Courageously. This ceremony was first discovered by Scott and done for Seth on his 13th birthday. I am a terrible speaker so, with the exception of my brother Max's ceremony, I generally choose not to present one of these attributes, which actually worked to our advantage this time.
We all got up extra early this morning and the others headed out to a hiking trail in Roxborough park. The trail was a loop that totaled about 2.5 miles. Grandpa Calvin, Scott, and my Dad positioned themselves at different places along the trail, while Seth hid somewhere near the parking lot. Around 7 am, Duncan and his father, Chris, arrived and began what Duncan thought was just a father/son Saturday morning hike. Chris talked to Duncan about accepting responsibility while they walked along the trail with Seth following behind them out of eyesight. After a while they approached Scott, or as Duncan said, "that large guy who looks like he has my bible." Chris handed Duncan off to Scott who talked to him about rejecting passivity as they walked. Eventually they approached the ruins of an old cabin. (It's been a while since Brandon has been down this path, so he missed the fact the "ruins" are now a fully restored cabin!) As they walked around to the front of the cabin, they found Grandpa sitting on the front porch. Grandpa took Duncan further down the trail and talked to him the importance of a person's name, the honor it should be shown, and the reputation it bears. While not part of the R.E.A.L. attributes, an important lesson as well, also we had five speakers and only 4 attributes.
As they rounded a turn in the trail, Duncan was passed off to my Dad, who discussed the importance of leading courageously. The final attribute to be discussed was expecting God's greater rewards and for this, Duncan was handed off to his cousin Seth, who he hasn't seen in about 11 years. Their discussion took them back to the parking lot where they were joined by the others. They all climbed back into their vehicles and headed over to Clement Park, where I was waiting with breakfast. We all gathered around a picnic table with our breakfast burritos and each speaker shared with the group a summary of what they discussed Duncan. At the end of each summary, Duncan was given a small gift which represented each of the subjects discussed. He was then presented with a certificate acknowledging that he was challenged by the men in his life to endeavor to become a Godly man. Along with the certificate came a set of engraved dog tags commemorating the event. Each man signed the certificate next to the topic they discussed, and I signed as a witness. Then Duncan was given the opportunity to accept the challenge through his own signature, which he did, and we are all proud of him for doing so.
With all the surprises thrown at Duncan this morning, some people present were shocked that the surprises were not done yet. Those people being Duncan (still) and myself. After Duncan signed his certificate, Scott explained that Seth was the first to have this done and we'd done it for all of the boys on this side of the family who's fathers expressed a desire to have it done when they turned 13...all but one. You see, Seth is my younger cousin, so while I've participated in the ceremony for four of my cousins, I never had the opportunity to have the ceremony performed on me. Scott then said that they thought it was about time to make me an "honorary man" and each of the guys that gave Duncan gifts then turned to me and presented me with the same gifts (mostly).
From Scott, a small cast iron statue of the terracotta warriors of Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China. He has no weapon and therefore does not appear to be aggressive, yet the man he represents was specifically chosen to protect the most important man in China, even if it meant dieing to do so. This is Duncan's and my symbol for rejecting passivity. Like the warrior, our job is not to attack the enemy, seeking out danger and eliminating a threat, nor are we to stand by and allow ourselves to be overrun. Instead, our task is to defend (with our lives if necessary) the things that are important to us.
From my Dad, a compass with a built in flashlight and glow-in-the-dark face. This is Duncan's and my symbol for leading courageously. The first part of leading is knowing where you are going. You don't necessarily know the final destination, but at least you can find the direction you need to go to get there, even if you don't understand why. I think the compass (specifically this one, you'll see why in a moment) can also be representative of the Bible as a tool capable of guiding us. It can only help you if you look at it. Keeping your glow-in-the-dark compass (with built in flashlight) in your pocket while you blindly stumble your way through a dangerous dark forest is, for lack of a better word, stupid. Not only would your glow-in-the-dark compass (with built in flashlight) allow you to find the direction you need to go to escape the dangerous darkness, it can light the way ahead and help you to better see where you are going.
From Seth, a giant penny, meant to be our symbol of expecting God's greater rewards. Seth is known in some circles for his uncanny ability to find odd things and somehow make them relate to something else. To me, this was no exception, and I had to ask him later for some clarification. He basically told me, "Its a big penny! God gives big rewards. What's not to understand?" I've given it some thought and I think I can expand on that. Its a big penny. Bigger than any of the other pennies I have by a long shot. I can't make a penny that big, and even if I tried, it wouldn't be worth anything. Basically, only God can make big pennies ("pennies" at this point is obviously a metaphor for rewards, just in case you have trouble with the obvious things) and only God can give big pennies (just so we're clear, Seth is not God ...even though he gave us giant pennies).
From Chris, Duncan was given Chris' first Navy knife which has specialized tools on it that only sailors use. Chris talked to him about the level of responsibility that would come with receiving this tool, how it was something that he (Chris) had needed on a regular basis and had he lost it, he would have had to find other ways of accomplishing his tasks, ways that were probably less efficient and would have been far easier had he not lost the knife in the first place. He also emphasized that the knife was not so much a weapon used to harm as it was a tool used to repair. I got a small devotional book, A Legacy of Promises for a Godly Man, presented by Promise Keepers. It is full of short 1-2 page lessons on the following broad topics: A Man and His God, A Man and His Friends, A Man and His Integrity, A Man and His Family, A Man and His Church, A Man and His Brothers, and A Man and His World. I believe accepting responsibility is one of the main things taught by Promise Keepers and that is what this book is supposed to represent for me.
From Grandpa, Duncan received a silver bracelet with his name engraved on it. This is how I viewed the lesson, though I may be reading into it a little too deep: a man's name is like fine jewelry. A R.E.A.L. man should endeavor to protect and care for his name, and be willing to have it be used to bring honor to God. Often times fine jewelry is passed down through generations within a family, just like a name. You want to protect it from those who would try to harm it because you will be passing it on to your future generations and you want them to have something of equal, not diminished, value. Further still, you want to care for your name because the greater quality and condition it has, the more value it holds when you pass it off to your children. It is easy to lock this "jewelry" away in a dark safe, only removing it every once in a while to polish it and maintain it's beauty and value, but this does not bring honor to God, as it's brilliance can not be seen within the darkness of the safe and no one can see it to appreciate it's beauty. Instead we are given a much more difficult task. We are to protect our name from scratches and dents, taking care to keep it clean and polished so it does not become tarnished and dull; and we are to do all of this every day of lives while wearing it plain sight, where all can see it's brilliance in the way it reflects the Light.
I was not given a bracelet from Grandpa. I received something of much greater value to me personally. Grandpa passed on to me his Legion of Merit medal, which is awarded to members of the United States armed forces for "exceptionally meritorious conduct in the performance of outstanding services and achievements." If I'm understanding my research correctly, it is the sixth highest decoration that can be awarded to members of the U.S. military, and as far as I can tell the only U.S. medal that can be awarded to military personnel of foreign governments. Talk about a valuable name to protect, care for, and ultimately grow in value. That last part is a lofty challenge, but one that I feel I have no choice but to accept. Grandpa has always been a great man of God, and I look forward to the day that I can pass this item, along with the challenges it brings, on to my own grandson. I'll have my own stories and life examples to pass on and hopefully they won't pale in comparison to those I share of his great-great-grandfather. And although this symbolizes the same thing as Duncan's bracelet, rest assured it will not be worn in public (partly because that is illegal and it is hard to raise a child to be a R.E.A.L. Godly man when you are locked behind bars), nor will be locked away in a dark safe. It will be proudly displayed in my home, where it will remain until the day it is passed on to a future R.E.A.L. man of God.
After I received each of the representative gifts, Scott presented me with my own set of dog tags, one of the items that has remained the same for all who have undergone the ceremony. On one tag are the words "A REAL MAN..." followed by "BRANDON'S "PASSAGE" 5-21-11" then the names of those involved. On the other tag are R.E.A.L. attributes: Rejects Passivity, Expects God's Greater Reward, Accepts Responsibility, and Leads Courageously. Just like with Duncan, they had a certificate which they all signed and I accepted the "challenges and with God's guidance will endeavor to uphold them." Duncan signed as the witness, just like I had done on his.
Having not read the book all of this is based on, I purchased it that afternoon and intend to read it as soon as possible, hopefully on the plane back to NC. Seth flipped through it some and since yesterday, there has been talk of designing a new family crest which can have minor changes made to it to distinguish between the families involved. There are currently four family names that have made the "Passage" (Markwood, Kennedy, Kitashima, and now Comer) and at least two that will be added in the future (Cole and Musgrove). In addition to the crest and sticking with the theme of knighthood, some of us (I'll be honest, I can't speak for sure about everyone else, but Seth, Duncan, and I for sure) want to a design a family sword. In my interpretation, the sword would have the main crest (not family specific) on it and would be mounted on a plaque that would somehow have on it the names of all the men who had completed the "Passage" at age 13 or been brought into the family and completed it "honorarily". I imagine something like this would be really expensive and therefore probably something presented upon marriage as a symbol of a new household dedicated to raising Godly children. Any way, most of us are brain storming and designs are in the works. I'm really excited to be a part of this and can not wait to continue the traditions with future generations. Maybe I'll even get better at speaking.
Earlier in the day, before the others arrived at the park for breakfast, I walked over to the Columbine Memorial. I had to cut my visit short due to the arrival of those I was waiting for, so we all (minus Chris and Grandpa) went back later in the day. The memorial can be viewed here
www.columbinememorial.org for those that would like to see what I'm talking about, I felt it would be disrespectful to take pictures while there. In the center of the memorial is a large ring of granite about the height of a kitchen counter. On it are the names of each victim and few paragraphs about their lives. Two of them really hit me hard, and I have been unable to think of better examples of rejecting passivity. Dave Sanders, age 47, was a teacher who was shot twice while attempting to protect the students and direct them to safety. He died from blood loss, his last words reported to be, "Tell my daughters I love them." As a father, this is hard to read. The other person, Rachel Scott, age 17, had a gun pointed at her and was asked, "Do you believe in God?" Her last words were, "You know I do!" Next to the memorial is a hill that, for years following the tragedy, had large wooden crosses on it, one for each victim. There is now a paved path leading up the hill to an overlook from which you can see an unobstructed view of the Rocky Mountains a few miles to the west stretching from the northern horizon all the way to the southern horizon and Columbine High School directly to the east. The worn dirt path that once lead to the crosses is still there, despite it being fenced off.
